Gilbert is bullying Eric when you pick up the play at this point:
Eric Well, I'm not a criminal, I'm just an artist. And, before that I was an officer in the Army. A very good officer, if you can believe that.
Gilbert Oh really? When.
Eric During Vietnam.
Gilbert That was a long time ago, wasn't it?
Eric It could have been yesterday.
Gilbert Why so?
Eric I was invalided out.
Gilbert Saw active service? A hero, are we? I always like meeting heroes.
Eric No, as a matter of fact, I didn't.
Gilbert Didn't what?
Eric See active service.
Gilbert No? Then how did you get invalided out? A bad case of piles?
Moira Oh, cut it out, Gilbert. Anyway, it's hemorrhoids in this country. And only women have them.
Gilbert Well, hæmorrhoids, then?
Eric No, fragging.
Gilbert Fragging? hæmorrhoids? piles? You're trying to confuse me.
Eric Fragging. Not very pleasant.
Gilbert Never heard of it. Something like bestiality? Buggering sheep is illegal where I come from but goats aren't, or maybe it's the other way round. Or, only in a churchyard. Come to think of it, goats are certainly illegal in this country. I know.
Moira Oh, we don't want to hear that goat story right now.
Eric I do.
Gilbert Well, it was just that my optometrist got run in by the cops for doing a nanny goat. Fragging her? At any rate, the cruiser thought he was. Filthy minded cops. He wasn't, of course.
Eric That's not very funny.
Moira No, it's not. I agree with Eric. And it wasn't fragging anyway.
Gilbert Wasn't it? I thought you said it was. Anyway, we'll come back to fragging when I've finished my story
Gilbert tells his awful story, goes out for a while and comes back unexpectedly.
Moira Well, not really. You see I got the Fortuna brothers, who know perfectly well when to go fishing. There wasn't anyone else. It's a holiday, remember? Besides, they're having some sort of trouble with their big boat.
Eric What's that got to do with it?
Moira They're leak freaks. In other words, they don't like sinking. If their ship stinks of stagnant bilge water, they feel just fine. And, it usually does, I can tell you , but apparently, their boat's smelling sweet right now. Relief for everyone else, but they're hunting all over the place for the leak. It was as much as I could do to persuade them to come, even this afternoon.
Gilbert So, you're arranging a fishing trip?
Gilbert I know I'm intruding. Come to think of it, I could do that business in Fairhaven. I'll go over there and come back this afternoon. Or, is Moira going with you?
Eric No, she's not. And No, you're not leaving. I told you I'd like to get to know you.
Gilbert Another time, perhaps.
Eric There won't be another time. I'm committing suicide later today. In about four hours. On the fishing trip.
If you’ld like to know what happens during those four hours, send me an email.